“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children….individuals who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.”
Is it any wonder that 40-50% of first marriages eventually end in divorce, and that 60% of all second marriages end in divorce as well? I think not. It is certainly not a surprise plot twist for society, considering the focus and importance that the world, especially here in the United States, is placing on individualism. Now, individualism in and of itself and as an ideal isn’t a bad thing. In fact, it was partly the ideology of individualism that formed the underlying concept for this country in the first place. However, as with any other good thing, too much of it eventually has the potential to produce negative effects. Well, surprise! If you haven’t already noticed and if you take a good look around, you will find yourself living somewhere between individualism and narcissism, in the United States of Selfishness, where what I want as an individual comes first, above all else. And if I’m unhappy or unfulfilled in a marriage, I simply exercise my individualism and leave, rather than investing further in something I previously committed to. After all, I only have one life to live, right? I need to be fulfilled. I want to be happy. I don’t want to expend too much time or effort on until-death-do-we-part commitment. I this and I that….. I… I… I… This mentality is nothing but rubbish.
All too often the “I” stands for Individualism (with an underlying “S” for Selfishness).
Remember, individualistic thinking, within reason, is actually a good thing. But when marriages and families are becoming so easily discarded in the quest for personal fulfillment, we have finally reached a point of critical mass where something must be done to refocus our priorities. There needs to be a shift in thinking and values, back to a focus on the family unit wherein individuals have their own autonomy and identities but also value and work together for the familial collective good. It is time for the pendulum to swing back to the midpoint between individualism and collectivism. I’m going to get right on that myself, as well (As soon as I finish my hot yoga class, meet with my spiritualist, spend an hour at the spa, and update all four of my social media accounts with the perfect selfies. Okay, just kidding, but you see my point).
Official Disclaimer: In all fairness and to maintain balance in this “discussion”, I must clearly state that there is nothing wrong with personal goals, interests, pursuits, or identities. In fact, they are necessary and healthy for our growth, development, and progression in life. It becomes an issue for concern and consideration when a person’s individual pursuits override the needs and desires of everyone else around them, especially their families. Or, in the case of many people today, when personal pursuits become so important that they choose to remain single, forego having a family, and become a walking advertisement for the selfish, narcissistic lifestyle.
So, why is this balance and refocus so important for individuals, families, and societies? And what can we do to begin moving in that direction, understanding that doing so does NOT require us to sacrifice every single trace of our narcissism (I mean, personal identity)?
1. Well, first of all, a society made up entirely of single, childless, narcissists wouldn’t last long at all without an adequate population replacement rate. Like it or not, whether or not the coming generations want families, it will be absolutely necessary for the survival of their Individualistic social media platforms.
2. If this trend continues at current rates, there will be serious societal complications in the form of depressed economies, etc.
3. The value of traditional marriage and family must become ingrained once again in the heart of our individuals and societies. This must be taught in homes, in schools, and be evident within communities, supported by civic efforts.
4. If we do not begin to re-establish healthy home environments and support systems, mental health will continue to decline, drug abuse and crime will continue to accelerate, and the confluence of these and other societal issues made worse by crumbling family values and structures will eventually collapse the systems currently in place to try to manage them.
5. Aside from all of the above doom and gloom, we need to remember that research evidence supports the positive effects of healthy, stable familial relationships on individuals and families alike. Attention all individualists: Like it or not, science indicates that people in healthy, traditional marriages and families are healthier, happier, and more fulfilled than their selectively single, selfish, narcissistic counterparts. Who knew?
6. And for those of us who believe in and testify to the importance of The Family Proclamation, traditional marriage and families are not only the best option according to social scientists, but they are also ordained of God and required of all.
FAMILY STRONG 