“Fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
Equality. We like it, we believe in it, and we all want it….right?
Equal rights.
Equity for all.
Equal pay.
Equal opportunity.
No exclusion.
No boundaries.
No limits.
Wait. Wait just a minute, here. When did the quest for equality and accountability become a free-for-all, do-what-you-want, be-what-you-want whether or not it’s right or even makes good sense because nobody has the right to speak your truth or make you accountable…..thing? It is precisely another example of what can come from a good thing when there is too much of it, or when it is hijacked by extremist ideas.
For example, when feminism became the issue during the 1960’s and 70’s, not everyone agreed with all of it, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume that most people do believe that things such as compensation in the workplace should be determined by qualifications rather than a person’s sex. However, we have gone from wanting equal rights for all to identifying equality as a person’s right to say, do, and be whatever they want without any fear of opposition or consequence whatsoever……..even if it isn’t wise or in the best interests of those around them, or society as a whole. The bottom line is that we have become a society of individuals who simply don’t like being told we can’t do something (Well, Boo Hoo, and Wah to that).
To clarify my point, I’ll use the example of females in the military or firefighting professions. I, myself, think it’s fantastic to have women in those professions. However, as badly as they might want to, not every woman is going to be physically capable of carrying a man off the battlefield or out of a burning building. Like it or not, that is just genetics and physics. There is no way around it (And, personally, if I were trapped in a burning building, I wouldn’t want a female trying to carry me down six flights of stairs – not that I would refuse the assistance, but I think you see my point). Some things simply don’t make good sense within the realm of equality, as badly as we may want them to. An example involving men is the fact that men will never give birth to children. Period. It simply isn’t possible because, though men and women may want to be the same in everything, they are not and never will be the same. I think we sometimes forget that there is nothing wrong with that.
Here’s the good news in all of this – YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THE SAME TO BE EQUAL OR TO HAVE EQUALITY.
Wait. What?
I hear you. It is an amazingly simple, yet profoundly shocking concept in today’s world – the idea that equality doesn’t necessarily mean being the same in everything. Let’s think on this for a minute (You know, that thing people used to do when they actually thought for themselves instead of simply choosing their ideologies from the in-your-face, assimilate-or-be-persecuted, mock-those-who-don’t-join-us opinions and belief systems that are thrust upon all of us today).
WHAT IF WE COULD BE EQUAL, BUT STILL CHOOSE TO FULFILL OUR UNIQUE PURPOSES IN LIFE?
(Crickets chirping)
I can see the look of complete and utter confusion on your face right now.
Somewhere along the line, while in the trenches of the all-consuming fight for equality, people forgot that equality doesn’t always mean being exactly the same. Specifically, equality in personal relationships is a state of value, interaction, and purpose. When two people in a marriage value each other’s unique contributions, show that in the way they interact with each other, and work together (equally) toward common goals, THEY ARE EQUAL PARTNERS. It matters not whether the man or the woman is a stay-at-home parent, whether one or both of them contribute financially, etc. It only matters that they act like and treat each other as equals. Because they are.
FAMILY STRONG 