“Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.”
Just as my previous post on the value of traditional marriage, this one focuses on principles that may seem too traditional, or too religious (in reference to faith and prayer) for the tastes of some people. However, while I often reference information from The Family Proclamation (which is a religious document), I try whenever possible to present extensive and credible research findings that provide empirical evidence of the value of such things. I do this for several reasons. One, I am an avid reader and researcher by nature, an overly curious mind that wants to fully understand things and make informed decisions. Two, though I believe completely in personal confirmation of truth through prayer, I also believe it is important to be educated, to be informed, and to be able to discuss intelligently what I believe. It just so happens that, in this case, there are literally years and years, and mounds and mounds, of research documentation and clinical evidence supporting the positive effects of these principles. So, let’s do a quick review, then you can decide for yourself (religious or not) whether you believe the research and whether you want to apply these principles in your own relationships.
The Proclamation outlines nine specific principles which, if followed, will lead to “happiness in family life”. More specifically, the document indicates that this happiness is more likely when people endeavor to live the teachings of Jesus Christ. Clearly, the Savior lived a life filled with faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and even wholesome recreational activities (let us not forget that even Christ had an occupation as a carpenter, He spent time visiting family and friends, etc.). Okay, here we go…
FAITH AND PRAYER
Social science has identified correlations between faith and the quality of family life (Successful Marriages and Families p. 185). Religious community, religious practices, and religious beliefs have been examined in relation to their effects on families.
- “With the exception of two religious groups (nontraditional conservatives and non-Christian faiths), holding any religious affiliation is associated with reduced odds of marital infidelity compared with those of no religious affiliation” (Successful Marriages and Families p. 186).
- Church attendance is significantly related to issues of fidelity and infidelity. Attending church together is what matters here. It appears that shared religious involvement has a preventive effect (Successful Marriages and Families p. 186).
- “Greater church attendance [is] related to lower rates of pornography use.” It is also related to lower rates of domestic violence (Successful Marriages and Families p. 186).
- Conversely, differences in religious involvement appear to contribute to higher rates of conflict within and failure of marriages (Successful Marriages and Families p. 186).
- Religious involvement is connected to more positive behavioral outcomes in children (Successful Marriages and Families p. 187).
- Religious practices (outward expressions of faith such as prayer, scripture study, rituals, and traditions) are linked with higher marital satisfaction (Successful Marriages and Families p. 189).
- Youth who are highly religious reported the highest-quality parent-child relationships in every area studied. (Successful Marriages and Families p. 190).
- A review of 64 studies indicated that 60 out of the 64 showed a connection between higher religious involvement and lower levels of depression (Successful Marriages and Families p. 191).
REPENTANCE AND FORGIVENESS
Though once considered strictly religious issues, “Mental health experts acknowledge that it is impossible to address emotional and physical well-being without considering the relevance of repentance and forgiveness” (Successful Marriages and Families p. 202). Benefits to families and individuals include:
- Repairing damaged family relationships
- Better emotional and physical health
- Change in thoughts, emotions, motivations, and behaviors
RESPECT, LOVE, AND COMPASSION
Following the example of the life of the Savior, respect, love, and compassion were principles that He taught and lived always. I don’t know of any person, therapist or layperson, religious or secular, who wouldn’t agree that any healthy, happy relationship must actively employ the principles of respect, love, and compassion in order to achieve happiness and success.
WORK AND HEALTHY RECREATION
Working together and playing together as families were mainstays, common practices in our society not so long ago. It has only been in the last couple of generations, with changing work environments, changing familial roles, and the close proximity to friends as well as an endless possible entertainment options made possible by industrialization and urbanization that families primarily working and playing together started to shift and change. Unfortunately, these changes have contributed to and facilitated families growing apart and spending less time together. Of course, this often results in families who are not as close or bonded together. Families who regularly find opportunities to work and play together experience increased closeness and appreciation for each other as they laugh, talk, serve, share, learn, and grow with each other.
FAMILY STRONG 